Posts Tagged ‘tales’

I’m leaving to go on a quest when a dragon comes out of nowhere. I hear nirnroot and it takes me forever to find it and pick it up. I get my bow and summon my Flame Atronach. The local villagers are helping out too. The dragon is at half life, so I follow it to the outskirts of town and finish it off with my mace, something I’ve never done before.  I’m nervous. I am gonna kill this dragon with my mace and he dies! Victory is mine, I do a little dance. But something is hitting me, and BAM, I’m dead. I got pwned by a mud crab…


Exit building, grab nirnroot. What the crap there’s three dragons this time? I summon my Flame atronach and get into postion. We’ve almost got one of the three down. The fight is going well, I haven’t taken any hits. I’m going to kill three dragons. My epic victory will make up for my failure.  The first dragon is at 10%, I can’t find it, and the second one is at 75%. I just need to re-summon my Flame Atronach. Everything stops. The screen locks. “NOOOOO” I scream. I’ve glitched out. “DAMN IT.”

Reload, loading, loading….

I pick up the nirnroot. ‘Alright dragon’, this time it’s two dragons, but one quickly retreats. I get the second on down to 50% and he starts to fly off. I yell at the television “Oh, NO you don’t!”  I chase the bastard up the side of a mountain; he wasn’t getting away. He’s just over the ledge seemingly waiting for me. I shout at him in rage and beat down his ass with my mace.  I smugly yell “That’s right!”

But there’s still one more I need to kill. ‘How dare they interrupt my Dark Brotherhood quest line.’ I traverse to the shore where I first died. ‘There he is, that bastard that ruined my first fight’. I sneak up behind him and kill him with one shot. I point at the television and say “No one fucks with me asshole mud crab.”  I walk away from this fight much happier. My significant other can’t stop laughing.


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